Truths about shit!
Taoïsm: shit happens
Buddhism: if shit happens, it isn’t really shit
HindoeIsm: this shit has happened before
Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah
Catholicism: shit happens because you deserve it
Protestantism: let shit happen to somebody else
Judaïsm: why does shit always happen to us?
“It’s hard to really look at somebody and go: “Hey, maybe something nice will happen.” You just don’t– I know too much about life to have any optimism, because I know even if it’s nice, it’s going to lead to shit. I know that if you smile at somebody and they smile back, you’ve just decided that something shitty is going to happen.”
“Spontaneously, without any theological training, I, a child, grasped the incompatibility of God and shit and thus came to question the basic thesis of Christian anthropology, namely that man was created in God’s image. Either/or: either man was created in God’s image – and has intestines! – or God lacks intestines and man is not like him.”